Help Me Please!

Is the help you are receiving making your life easier or more frustrating?  Management requires organization and delegation.  Whether you are managing a Fortune 500 company or a family of 4, you need to utilize the skills of others on your team.  While I can’t give advice to Fortune 500 companies, I do have advice for those of you managing yourselves and your home.   I meet many clients who have the same complaint, the people who help them run the house don’t put things back where they belong.  They spend a large amount of time rearranging things after someone has helped.   What a waste of valuable time!   The fastest way to solve this problem is through good communication upfront.  You cannot expect someone to remember where things go if they don’t know ahead of time. 

Following are a few tricks of the trade to help facilitate good communication with your help.  Whether it is your children doing chores, your spouse helping with the house work load, your childcare help, or your cleaning person/staff, use these tips to make sure the help that is given is a good use of their time and yours!

• Labels – Labeling is one of the key ingredients in house communication.  If you label the shelf for linens with what sheets go where, then there is no question when someone goes to out the sheets away after the laundry is done.  Also, they can see what they need quickly and easily.  If you have people who help you around the house that don’t speak fluent English, use labels in both English and the language they speak fluently.
• Notes – If you need to let someone know something, and you are not there to actually speak with them, leave a note.  Also, if they don’t speak fluent English, try using BableFish   http://babelfish.yahoo.com/ to translate a note for you.  Clear communication is essential. 
• Repeat after me – Make sure, especially for children, have them repeat what is expected of them after you give instructions.  Now this is not to belittle your help, it is to make sure you have clear expectations.  There is nothing worse than trying to explain something and getting a blank stare.  Asking them to repeat back to you will help ensure you have made your point of what needs to be accomplished.
• Pictures – Pictures are a great way to show what it is you are talking about.  Also, if you need to remove something to clean, and then go to put it back, can you remember exactly where everything goes?  Pictures speak a thousand words!!!  Create a photo book for your cleaning staff, or one for your family.  They can refer back to it to make sure they know where things go.  This works great for cabinets and closets, too.  When unloading a dishwasher, those who are helping may not know where everything belongs.  The pictures will assist when someone doesn’t know where things go.  You will avoid “losing” things!
• Be specific -  Make sure they know what it is you need help with and what it is you want as a finished product.  You can’t expect.  If you want to have help, you can’t expect people to live in your head.  They will not know what you want unless you explain it to them.  Many times we hurry through explanations and don’t give enough information. 
• Demonstrate – Especially for children, if you want something done a specific way, make sure you demonstrate for them.  Some people learn and remember by visually seeing what to do.  Walking them through it will also help those who learn in a  tactile manner.

Many people don’t utilize their help because they worry it won’t be done right.   They think they might as well do it themselves.  No one person has the skills, abilities and time do do it all.  Use your help!  Clear communication will save you time and money.   Remember though, if you use your manners with good communication, you will have happy helpers!

For more tips on organizing, visit my website at:  www.afreshstartorganizing.net/tips. 

Also, you can subscribe to my monthly e-newsletter “Fresh Ideas for A Fresh Start” . Subscribe Now 

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What are we teaching our children?

Yesterday, I had my children assist in one cleaning project that I so badly wanted to get done, cleaning our wood shutters.  We don’t have a large house and we don’t have shutters on all the windows, so I thought this would be fun, easy and most of all quick.  Well, not so true on any of these thoughts.  I had envisioned giggling and talking while cleaning.  I had envisioned my boys finding the joy of a job well done.  Well, this was SO not the case.  I had to break up the fights (“your not helping”,  “I was working on that side”) and motivate ’til I was blue in the face!  I practically took over the job because I just wanted it done and done right.  I came in behind and redid their work and basically finished by myself.  So what kind of lesson did I teach my boys?  Looking back, not a very good one!

I believe we need to teach our children at a young age that the family is a team.  We work together to get things done.  No one should be the sole person to clean, declutter, organize and be responsible for the home.  If you don’t get everyone involved to help, the one person doing all the work will eventually blow.  Running a household, whether you are a stay at home parent or a working parent, is a lot of work.  Having a team effort to keep the house running smoothly is vital.  The quarter back doesn’t win the game alone, neither does the pitcher.  Good team management will make a big difference in your home being calm and loving, versus chaotic and angry. 

Kids at a very early age can be taught to help.  The more you include them in household chores, the better adults they will grow up to be.  But you have to approach it in a fun and loving manner.  Not the case for me yesterday.  Here are a few suggestions on how to make the learning and teaching process run smoothly:

1. Establish Chores.  Check out the chore chart below.  Have your children pick the chores they feel they want to do and can do well.  Involving them in the decision process makes a big difference in their willingness to participate.  Even a 3 year old can do this. 
2. Set clear expectations.  Explain in detail what you expect from them.  If you simply say dust the shelf, and don’t say make sure to take everything off, or dust in the corners, you can’t expect they will know to do that.  They will do the minimum job expected.  Make sure your child(ren) repeat back to you what is expected so the communication is clear.
3. Set reasonable expectations.  This was my mistake yesterday.  My kids couldn’t reach the top shutters and they shutters were so dusty they required a little more elbow grease then I had originally thought.  A quick run of the Swiffer Duster wasn’t doing the job.  They didn’t realize they weren’t doing a complete job.  They were just doing what they thought was good. 
4. Don’t swoop in and do it for them.  Realize their abilities and don’t set them up for failure.  If they see you coming in and redoing their work, their confidence goes down the tubes.  As was the case for my oldest son, who said “I am trying my best, and you don’t care!”.  Whoops, I needed a reminder that they were trying and my doing it for them wasn’t teaching them anything!  Accept their limits and don’t expect perfection.
5. Remember your manners.  Would you want to have orders barked at you?  Would you want to listen to constant criticism?  Give praise, say please and thank you, and most of all, tell them how much their help helps you!  Let them know how more hands getting the job done will free up time to do more fun things, like play a game together or read a book to them. 

My best advice is to make the process as fun as you can.  Crank up the music.  Turn things into games.  Set a timer to see how fast they can do it (only if they do a good job though).  Reward with fun activities.  You can also reward with money, but I feel that I don’t get paid to do things around the house, so why should I pay them?  Choose your motivation and reward system and let the kids know ahead of time what they get for their hard work. 

See below for the chore chart.  This is just a general guideline, so don’t worry if your child isn’t there yet.  I paid my twin sister to do my laundry for a few years until I understood how to do it myself!  She got the sorting process way before I did.  I was intimidated and would rather pay some of my allowance than face my fear!

Chores for Every Age:

Toddlers:

·         Put clothes in the laundry basket

·         Put toys away (where they belong)

·         Take things to the trash can, such as if you are opening your mail or clearing the dirty napkins at dinner

Preschool:  Same as above, PLUS

·         Get dressed

·         Pick clothes for the next day or the week (give limits such as “choose a short-sleeve shirt, a pair of shorts, underwear, and socks”

·         Help match socks when folding laundry

·         Put folded laundry away (pre sort as you fold, grouping what would go in each drawer or cubby)

·         Help set table

·         Help clear table

·         Wipe off table

·         Deliver items to another room (such as “please put this book on the self in the office”, or “please put the mail on my desk”)

·         Help unpack groceries

·         Help make/pack lunch

Kindergarten:  Same as above, PLUS

·         Make bed (even if it is putting pillows on the bed after you fix the sheets)

·         Tidy up their room

·         Help unload dishwasher

·         Pack backpack for school

·         Follow a morning routine

·         Get the mail

·         Empty trash cans, into a larger trash bag

·         Put a new trash bag in a trash can

·         Help hang up shirts in closet

 First and Second Grade:  Same as above, PLUS

·         Clean their room

·         Take trash out to outside receptacles

·         Sort dirty laundry

·         Sweep floor

·         Yard work (rake leaves, pull weeds, hose off patio)

·         Help put groceries away

Third and Fourth Grade:  Same as above, PLUS

·         Vacuum

·         Load dishwasher

·         Walk the dog

·         Help with meal preparation

·         Bathe themselves

·         Make breakfast

·         Pack lunch

Fifth and Sixth Grade:  Same as above, PLUS

·         Take on weekly responsibilities, such as take out the trash to the curb, fold laundry, and clean their bathroom

·         Be responsible for their homework and projects with a calendar and schedule

Seventh Grade through High School:  Same as above, PLUS

·         Iron clothes

·         Make dinner

·         Wash the car

·         Take on a part time job or babysit

·         Be responsible for managing their money, with guidelines on how to save, give and spend

College:

By now you have given your “child” the necessary skills to be a responsible young adult.  If they are living at home, they should be responsible for doing all adult chores just as if they were living in an apartment on their own.  They should be paying rent and/or doing things to contribute to the household chores and budget.  By this time you will have created an independent young adult that wants to do things to help both physically and financially.

I know I will be working more on my ability to let go of  “perfection” in order to teach my kids to enjoy their chores more!  I hope your team will be on the winning end of the chore battle!  Let me know if you have any tips or ideas you would like to share on how your get your kids to help more!

For more tips on organizing, visit my website at:  www.afreshstartorganizing.net/tips. 

Also, you can subscribe to my monthly e-newsletter “Fresh Ideas for A Fresh Start” . Subscribe Now 

And get daily tips delivered to you through Twitter.  Follow Me